The year I celebrated with a cupcake for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the entire weekend leading up to 41 and not one ounce of regret, effs or guilt about it. Worth it.
The year started out with so much hope and guess what…. it’s also ending with so much hope, even on the days I have to dig a little deeper to find it. 2020 is not a year I would have chosen, but it’s a year of many lessons in gratitude, grace, turning off and turning away from what doesn’t serve my emotional or mental well-being and leaning into what does but had been too hard to lean into alone. It has been the most intentional and transformational growth I’ve ever experienced as a human to date and I can’t be mad at that.
So thank you 40 & 2020 for showing me how to remain steady in the storm. Even or especially when the steadiness came from leaning on those around me.
What age are you supposed to FEEL like an actual real life adult? Because so far, 41 still feels just as unadultish as all the previous years.
The truth shall set you free. So here I go. Setting myself free. After all that’s what my twenty seventeen is all about, right?!!
So a few things you may or may not know about me. I LOOOOVE chocolate. Dark chocolate specifically, but chances are if you put most chocolate down in front of me it may not survive. It’s a real problem. I will go to the store and without even realizing it, I will have put bars of chocolate in my cart. I guess the heart knows what the heart wants…and mine wants chocolate. All the damn time.
oh just me eating chocolate for breakfast.
So another thing you may or may not know about me, I’m a baaaaad liar. Like the worst. My mom knows this, my husband knows this, my friends know this. I know this. So here’s where I need to own up cuz I lied and it’s about to bite me right in my 1?0 pound ass. We just got new/more/different life insurance because well…apparently adults do responsible things like this. And I filled out the paperwork and entered those numbers like I was filling out my DMV paperwork. Cuz everyone lies on their drivers license, right?!! What? Are they gonna weigh me? Noooooo. I don’t think so.
Well…so it turns out, the life insurance people…they do weigh you. They come TO YOUR HOUSE and weigh you!! “It will only take 10-15 min.” She says on the phone. And of course in my mind I’m convinced she’s throwing around those exact numbers because she was on to me and my lies. So I hang up the phone and run up upstairs to weigh myself and vow to lose 10-15 lbs before my appointment…. the following week which is ridiculous. And even more ridiculous I run downstairs and stress eat bars of chocolate. The weight obviously doesn’t magically fall off so what do I do? What any normal person would do and change my appointment…not once… but 2 more times. In an attempt to lose weight by eating ridiculous amounts of dark chocolate bars. Huh?! Seriously?!
Sooo….here we are on the eve of my 10-15 min weigh in and I am down exactly zero pounds. But what I am down is approximately 6-10…ok maybe more Trader Joe’s chocolate bars.
my pantry at any given moment.
So…tomorrow may be the day I either go to jail for insurance fraud or get denied coverage cuz I’m way too short for my real weight…not my drivers license weight. Time will tell. Please tell me you’ll write….
So just when I thought all the ugly face crying from leaving my nursing career was out of my system…a package shows up in my mailbox that reopens the flood gates. This time. Only happy tears.
one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received.
The contents of package is a reminder that I am on the right path. With the right people. People that I would never know had it not been for this business that accidentally fell into my lap. I love it. And I love them. So much. This tribe of women that I never knew I needed.
My one word. Free. And my intention not only for this year, but from these moments forward. Free to be…
Today the happy tears flow because I know I have found my people, my tribe. The ones that know my flaws, my crazy and still love me, accept me and cheer me on. Thank you for being in my life…