Jumping head first…

When’s the last time you did something scary or outside of your comfort zone? 

I feel like I’ve decided to jump head first into as many scary things as I can in the last couple weeks and it shows. Lol. The anxiousness, wtfs and me waking up at 4 am to think about all the things (picture the beautiful mind gif with all the floating equations, that’s me. At 4 am.) are starting to creep in and making me ask wtf am I doing?! 

I have been doing so good, so I’m not sure why all of a sudden I’m feeling hit with all the nerves. Or maybe I do know why. Because I doing some of the scariest stuff I’ve ever done. Like doing to most raw and vulnerable interview I’ve ever done in my life. Doing huge things in my current business, about to officially start our first year of homeschooling while also praying for a way for to do something big to expand a future business I know I was created for. 

But I also think that’s the thing with anxiety. It’s a constant tug o war. You’re never really done doing the work. Sometimes you get better and faster at coping, but that doesn’t mean you never have to face it again. 

When I start feeling this way, now I know what I need to do: 


1. Pray. I need to remind myself where my truth comes from. And it’s fo sho not the fear in my head. I just listened to a mediation on fear and it said fear is created in the ego and e.g.o. = Edging God out. I raised a hallelujah to that. It’s so true. Blasting some Jesus jams also really helps get my head and heart right. 

2. Oil up. Literally bathe in all the emotions oils. The emotional oils rock my world and may have made me more of a believer than any other oil because of the level of healing in my soul I believe they prepare and open my heart for. My fave oils for this are: Frankincense, White Angelica, Valor, Stress Away, Harmony, Grounding, Gathering. 

3. Hit the mat for some yoga and me time. Clear the mind. Ground myself. Focus on what’s in front of me or the pose I’m trying to not break my face doing. 

4. Sit in some gratitude. Look for it and call it out everywhere. No matter how big or small. I have a gratitude album on my phone. Any picture that makes me smile and brings joy to my heart gets moved over to this album. I open it up and get ta scrolling when I need to check my mind right. 

5. Pray again, oil up again and dance. Because in my opinion you can never do too much of either and you can’t dance and be in a shit mindset at the same time. Try it. Not possible. 

What are some things you do to ease your anxiousness? Or oils you use to help calm your mind and heart??

Lean in…to your gifts.

Working realllll hard to teach and show my kids that worth will never come from a grade or ANY external factor…while constantly reminding myself of that very thing. I wish I would have learned this lesson so much sooner in life. 

Academics may not come easy to him, but kindness, empathy & creativity do. And he has such a gift for recognizing a friend in need. I’ll take that all day, every day over a letter grade. 

Shine bright in your gifts, friends. Focus on all that you are instead of all that you’re not and see what happens. Another lesson I wish I would have learned sooner. But damn is it ever being shown to me now. Loud and clear. Better late than never, right? 

If you don’t know what your gifts are yet (I didn’t know mine until recently), what have you been told by friends or loved ones is a gift you possess? Maybe even be brave enough ask those around you. I promise you have a gift only you can give, in a way only you can. Sometimes it’s a matter of recognizing it and not ignoring or running from it. if you’re the praying type, talk to God…ask him to show you. Here’s a prayer I’ve been praying, “Lord, here I am with open hands and open heart. ready to step into who you have created me to be. To use the gifts and talents you have blessed me with in a way that shows people who you are, how you love and the life you want for them. And imma maybe need you to make it realllll clear for a sister because there’s still a little bit of fear that’s sometimes clouding your whispers. So maybe holla at a girl!” 🤣 annnnnd boy is he hollering lately. And sending the people to also holla at a girl. Even if you’re not the praying type (trust me, I get it. I was not for more than half my life), you can still talk to God. He will be happy to hear from you. If you don’t know how to pray or what to say (I also feel you on that, I’m still learning), feel free to borrow my very scholarly written prayer. 

So let’s hear it…do you know your gifts? I’d love to hear what they are. Or are you about to go figure em out?? 

Ps: thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 😆

looking for wholeheartedness

IMG_6717The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto. This. So. Much. This.

This book (Daring Greatly) totally rocked my world. I’m not gonna lie, it took me a long time to finally be ready to read and comprehend the words on these pages. I have struggled so much throughout my life with feelings of worthiness and self love and self acceptance and where I belong. And this manifesto right here is WHY I am working so hard on changing my behaviors and self talk.

In her book, Brené Brown says “we can’t give our children what we don’t have.” So without making some serious and intentional changes, I cannot lead by example. I cannot show them how to live in a place of self love and worthiness and belonging unless I am living that life as well. I won’t discount the progress I have already made because I do feel I am a better person today than I was a week ago, a month a ago, a year ago. But I also know that I can do better. Much better. For myself. For my children. Because. This. This is what I want for myself and my kids.

Stay tuned while I continue the search for wholeheartedness…

 

xoxo,

m