We went to the park yesterday and I captured so many adorable and loving moments of these two and I was so proud to watch their love and appreciation for one another. These right here are some of those precious moments captured that make you feel like you’re parenting game is so strong.
Unshakable. You’re doing everything right. Of course minus your all too frequent trips through the Chick Fil A drive thru, goldfish (the snacks not the actual fish. I don’t want any fish activist coming after me) and grapes being thrown at them just so you can finish one more thing that should have already been done and the constant forgetting to sign the 2nd grade daily progress sheet resulting in your kid not being able to hit up the prize box at school every Friday. Aside from that…You’re doing pretty damn allllllright. You kids clearly love one another so much that it totally makes up for all the other “not my best parenting moments”.
Then the sun goes down and they turn into hungry little maniacs. And I’m not talking hunger for mac & cheese. I’m talking about hunger for your sanity. The screaming. The destroying of your house. The running around you as you (im)patiently wait for your instapot to make the magical beeping sound of success while you huff your Stress Away essential oil bottle like those people you see frantically breathing into paper bags in the movies. But hey it’s all in fun, right? They are just kids after all. Kids having “fun”.
Then after repeating “eat your dinner, please” 2738 times you give up and cut your losses after approximately 37 pieces of macaronis and 102 chips eaten collectively. Yeah. I saw the bag of chips you thought you were hiding. Actually I heard you before I saw you. And I’m now strongly considering banning chips from ever entering this house again. Whhy whhhy whhhhhy do they chew so loud?!??
You’re so close now. Bath time. You got this. You totally got this. Home stretch. And as you’re getting the water ready you overhear the conversation being had between your two kids…. that love each other so much……
Ash: “Laila ever since you’ve come around, you been taking all my stuff. Enough is enough already! You’re going down!”
Laila: “shut.up.Ash!! Shut up! Shhhhhuuuutttt up!!!!!!! Give me my sword!”
Followed by the loudest screams ever while she rushes him and takes HIS sword.
Ash: “ugh Laila. You are such a beast. You’re never gonna have any friends, if you keep this up.”
Laila: “suuuuuuush Asssssssshhhhhh!!!”
Me: “Laila. Come here. You’re not being nice.”
Laila yelling: “I am nice!! My sword.”
As she pulls it in and guards it with her life.
Me: “no you’re not being nice and that’s Ash’s sword. You need to go give it back.”
Laila. “Ugggggh. Fock.”
But not just any old F bomb. She dragged it out…”Foooock!”
Uhhhh….yeah. The 2.5 year old dropped the F bomb. And although you’re kinda impressed that she used it in the proper context, you hold your head in shame because you’re pretty sure she got that word from you. Actually you know she did. There is no doubt because when that word leaves your lips, that’s EXACTLY how it sounds. And as you file tonight under “not my best parenting moments”, you’re just thankful the 7 year old didn’t here the F bomb dropped so the damage control is limited to yours and your 2.5 year olds potty mouths and you hope that she quickly forgets this word in her sleep. Dear 6lbs 7oz baby Jesus, just please hear this prayer!!!
I’m not alone, right?!? I can’t be. There are other moms out there with potty mouth toddlers? Or kids living off of Chick Fil A and a prayer….right?!
And this is my #totalMayHam
to be continued….