Breakthrough

You are loved. ⁣⁣⁣

You are worthy. ⁣⁣⁣

You are beautiful. ⁣⁣⁣

Your story & your voice matter. ⁣⁣⁣

With every beat of your heart and every breath you take, feel the love and gratitude for the obstacles that have allowed you to grow & heal. ⁣⁣⁣

Seek and find the joy in the ordinary.

⁣⁣⁣Be the light in the darkness.

⁣⁣⁣Look for the beauty in the broken. ⁣⁣⁣

Let love in.

⁣⁣⁣Love others like crazy. ⁣⁣⁣

Live so boldly in the image in which God created you, that others see and know Him though you. ⁣⁣⁣

You are worth it.

⁣⁣⁣The world deserves that version of you. ⁣⁣⁣

YOU deserve that version of you.

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣*me to myself and me to you. ⁣⁣⁣

What would you add for yourself?

41.

2020.

The year I celebrated with a cupcake for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the entire weekend leading up to 41 and not one ounce of regret, effs or guilt about it. Worth it.

The year started out with so much hope and guess what…. it’s also ending with so much hope, even on the days I have to dig a little deeper to find it. 2020 is not a year I would have chosen, but it’s a year of many lessons in gratitude, grace, turning off and turning away from what doesn’t serve my emotional or mental well-being and leaning into what does but had been too hard to lean into alone. It has been the most intentional and transformational growth I’ve ever experienced as a human to date and I can’t be mad at that.

So thank you 40 & 2020 for showing me how to remain steady in the storm. Even or especially when the steadiness came from leaning on those around me.

What age are you supposed to FEEL like an actual real life adult? Because so far, 41 still feels just as unadultish as all the previous years.

Jumping head first…

When’s the last time you did something scary or outside of your comfort zone? 

I feel like I’ve decided to jump head first into as many scary things as I can in the last couple weeks and it shows. Lol. The anxiousness, wtfs and me waking up at 4 am to think about all the things (picture the beautiful mind gif with all the floating equations, that’s me. At 4 am.) are starting to creep in and making me ask wtf am I doing?! 

I have been doing so good, so I’m not sure why all of a sudden I’m feeling hit with all the nerves. Or maybe I do know why. Because I doing some of the scariest stuff I’ve ever done. Like doing to most raw and vulnerable interview I’ve ever done in my life. Doing huge things in my current business, about to officially start our first year of homeschooling while also praying for a way for to do something big to expand a future business I know I was created for. 

But I also think that’s the thing with anxiety. It’s a constant tug o war. You’re never really done doing the work. Sometimes you get better and faster at coping, but that doesn’t mean you never have to face it again. 

When I start feeling this way, now I know what I need to do: 


1. Pray. I need to remind myself where my truth comes from. And it’s fo sho not the fear in my head. I just listened to a mediation on fear and it said fear is created in the ego and e.g.o. = Edging God out. I raised a hallelujah to that. It’s so true. Blasting some Jesus jams also really helps get my head and heart right. 

2. Oil up. Literally bathe in all the emotions oils. The emotional oils rock my world and may have made me more of a believer than any other oil because of the level of healing in my soul I believe they prepare and open my heart for. My fave oils for this are: Frankincense, White Angelica, Valor, Stress Away, Harmony, Grounding, Gathering. 

3. Hit the mat for some yoga and me time. Clear the mind. Ground myself. Focus on what’s in front of me or the pose I’m trying to not break my face doing. 

4. Sit in some gratitude. Look for it and call it out everywhere. No matter how big or small. I have a gratitude album on my phone. Any picture that makes me smile and brings joy to my heart gets moved over to this album. I open it up and get ta scrolling when I need to check my mind right. 

5. Pray again, oil up again and dance. Because in my opinion you can never do too much of either and you can’t dance and be in a shit mindset at the same time. Try it. Not possible. 

What are some things you do to ease your anxiousness? Or oils you use to help calm your mind and heart??

What’s wrong with a little fitness and a whole lotta Jesus???

Someone recently responded to one of my stories and asked if my Instagram page is turning into a fitness & Jesus page. 

I don’t know them very well and I don’t know what they meant their tone to be. And even without the eye roll emoji, 🤣 we take words from a place of where we are in that moment. I deep sighed. I do sometimes worry I will annoy people with my posts/stories. It has at times even kept me from posting more than I have. But then I remember that I’m not posting for the eye rollers. 
I get this message and for a very split second I let it validate my fear and invalidate alllllll the other messages of encouragement, support and appreciation for showing & sharing my journey. Then I took a deep breath and formed my response that went like, 
“Hey. Thanks for reaching out. I don’t have any current plans to, but living the healthiest and best life I can is one of my main focuses so that’s what I’m showing. If that hits an uncomfortable spot and I am no longer for you because of that, I totally understand. Hope you have a great day. Thanks for your message.” 

Because I do understand. There was once a time, I had a hard time watching others do what I wanted to do, but (physically or emotionally) couldn’t. Or watching others do what I didn’t believe I was capable or deserving of doing. Lots of eye rolling went down. So I get it. And I’m not mad if you need to look away right now (or ever) for your own well-being. 
It’s always ok for you to unfollow or turn your gaze away from what’s not making you feel good. But also maybe think about asking yourself, what about it or why is it making me feel a certain way? And can/should I dig deeper to work through it even when it feels uncomfortable. Or maybe you’re not ready to ask yourself those questions and you just gotta keep repeating certain cycles until you’re ready to no longer repeat them, like I did. It’s hard, ugly and uncomfortable work so I don’t judge anyone from sitting in a place I sat for so long. 

Friends, I don’t know what this page will be. it’s my small corner of social media and it’s my story and it’s still being written, so only time will tell. But if what I am doing/showing right now makes anyone feel any kind of way, it is 💯 ok for you to turn your gaze and not follow along. 

If my faith & workout journey and progress makes you feel uncomfortable, I have a feeling once I really open up about my growth and how I plan to let it guide me….you gonna be reallllllll uncomfortable here in my part of the inter webs. So now may be a good time to make an exit anyway. 🤣
I have learned some hard life lessons in my 40 years of existence and this girl can no longer play small to keep others comfortable. Nope. Cannot do it. And that may not be for you. Now or ever. And that’s ok with me. Whether it’s ok for anyone else how I live and share my life, is not my business so I won’t make it mine. 🤷🏽‍♀️
That’s a message I hope everyone learns way sooner than I did. There’s so much freedom in knowing what others think of you has NOTHING to do with you (unless you’re just an awful human, which I don’t believe anyone wants to be that) and everything to do with where they currently are in life.