Breakthrough

You are loved. ⁣⁣⁣

You are worthy. ⁣⁣⁣

You are beautiful. ⁣⁣⁣

Your story & your voice matter. ⁣⁣⁣

With every beat of your heart and every breath you take, feel the love and gratitude for the obstacles that have allowed you to grow & heal. ⁣⁣⁣

Seek and find the joy in the ordinary.

⁣⁣⁣Be the light in the darkness.

⁣⁣⁣Look for the beauty in the broken. ⁣⁣⁣

Let love in.

⁣⁣⁣Love others like crazy. ⁣⁣⁣

Live so boldly in the image in which God created you, that others see and know Him though you. ⁣⁣⁣

You are worth it.

⁣⁣⁣The world deserves that version of you. ⁣⁣⁣

YOU deserve that version of you.

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣*me to myself and me to you. ⁣⁣⁣

What would you add for yourself?

41.

2020.

The year I celebrated with a cupcake for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the entire weekend leading up to 41 and not one ounce of regret, effs or guilt about it. Worth it.

The year started out with so much hope and guess what…. it’s also ending with so much hope, even on the days I have to dig a little deeper to find it. 2020 is not a year I would have chosen, but it’s a year of many lessons in gratitude, grace, turning off and turning away from what doesn’t serve my emotional or mental well-being and leaning into what does but had been too hard to lean into alone. It has been the most intentional and transformational growth I’ve ever experienced as a human to date and I can’t be mad at that.

So thank you 40 & 2020 for showing me how to remain steady in the storm. Even or especially when the steadiness came from leaning on those around me.

What age are you supposed to FEEL like an actual real life adult? Because so far, 41 still feels just as unadultish as all the previous years.

Leveled up…

Excelling in education AND snacks. Look who leveled up! When asked how she felt, she replied….”totally normal. Phenomenal as usual.”

⁣⁣I love that phenomenal is her baseline. I’m about to make it mine too. ⁣⁣

Now I see why homeschoolers have a hard time talking in grade levels. She may be a 3rd grader before she officially finishes what a traditional first grade year would be. ⁣⁣

Truth be told, I was trying to slow her down because I know it’s about to get more challenging and I didn’t know if she was ready for that level of challenge then I had to have an honest conversation with myself and ask 3 questions:⁣

1. Why do I get to decide what’s too challenging for her? Especially when she’s enjoying the challenges and seeking out more?!

⁣2.Who am I to hold a smart, determined little lady back? And WHY TF would I want to?!!!!!

⁣3.Who is the one that isn’t ready? Am I making this about my fears? Or my fears for her?

⁣⁣That was a fun internal conversation. I lost my own argument and damn am I glad for that. Because none of this is about me. It’s all her. She gets to drive THIS bus. ⁣ ⁣We are homeschooling them to meet them where they are. If this is where she is, this is where she is and Imma let her go on with her bad self and let her face the challenges head on if/when they come and watch her navigate them like the strong, sassy, smart little lady that she is. ⁣⁣

Because I‘ll be damned if she learns to slow down, back down or play small to make others feel comfortable or less uncomfortable from me. Nah girl. You do you and imma cheer you on through the wins and losses to come. ⁣But also please take it easy on me in the sass department in the coming years, mmmkaaay thanks boo. ⁣⁣So excited to celebrate this phenomenal little lady leveling up!!

Chasing gratitude.

Filing this under daily gratitudes and blessings. I almost didn’t post this picture because let’s be honest, I am not a pretty sleeper. But ohhh for this moment, I had prayed. As a desperate non believer, I prayed so hard for this child after years of heart ache, infertility and lots of loss. I never prayed so hard. ⁣


And here we are. ⁣

Constantly blessed (and sometimes stressed 🤣) by her colorful presence and presents in this world. She is an actual rainbow after the storm. And sometimes she IS also the storm. & I love that about her even on the days it makes it hard to parent her. ⁣

So grateful that Eric felt the love and gratitude for both his girls in this moment, to capture it. Then send it to your mom with the text, “look at your girls”. 😭 ⁣

A few years ago, I decided to chase gratitude. Even…or especially on the hard days. I’m still chasing it, except today I find more of it. Not because I’m more blessed (although I do feel more blessed), but because I have been intentional in playing hide and seek with it. ⁣

Don’t miss or overlook it because it’s hiding in the ordinary spaces. Seek it out. Say “found ya” out loud when you find it. Play this game all damn day, every day. Until it becomes part of your normal daily routine, even on the hard days and even when there’s a hint of sarcasm behind it (sarcasm may be my coping mechanism which I just read wasn’t healthy, but baby steps 😬). There were some days all I could be thankful for was a cup of coffee or just making it through the day. But I’ve come a long way since then and if I can, I believe anyone can. ⁣

(7/15/2020)

What is something you’re grateful for in this moment??