Breakthrough

You are loved. ⁣⁣⁣

You are worthy. ⁣⁣⁣

You are beautiful. ⁣⁣⁣

Your story & your voice matter. ⁣⁣⁣

With every beat of your heart and every breath you take, feel the love and gratitude for the obstacles that have allowed you to grow & heal. ⁣⁣⁣

Seek and find the joy in the ordinary.

⁣⁣⁣Be the light in the darkness.

⁣⁣⁣Look for the beauty in the broken. ⁣⁣⁣

Let love in.

⁣⁣⁣Love others like crazy. ⁣⁣⁣

Live so boldly in the image in which God created you, that others see and know Him though you. ⁣⁣⁣

You are worth it.

⁣⁣⁣The world deserves that version of you. ⁣⁣⁣

YOU deserve that version of you.

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣*me to myself and me to you. ⁣⁣⁣

What would you add for yourself?

Seeing is believing

I had an unexpected and unwelcome 430 wake up call this morning feeling like the weight of the world was sitting heavily on my chest. Having anxiety, this isn’t uncommon. Lately it’s been happening more than I like and I feel like so much of it is because it feels like we as a world have become so divisive and less accepting of those that may think or believe differently than us. I see and feel it on social media with every scroll which has honestly left me scrolling so much less these last few weeks/months in an attempt to guard my heart and energy. ⁣⁣

After dropping about 15 drops of Frankincense on my head, I sat in prayer for a while, got a workout in then prayed some more. I opened up my Live in Grace, Walk in Love devotional by Bob Goff and my mouth dropped open. The message is ALWAYS on time:

⁣⁣“Since when did we decide as a community of faith that having the same beliefs and opinion was a prerequisite for loving, accepting, and welcoming someone? It’s not enough to just tolerate or be polite to people we disagree with and for them to merely do this with us. We need to love each other without an agenda. Do it any other way and we signal to each other that the others need to be like us to be liked by us. The cost of acceptance is way too high if it cost people who God made them to be.”⁣“We don’t just tolerate those who are different from us, we celebrate them! We delight in the way each person shows us a side of ourselves or Jesus that we hadn’t quite seen until we met them. Instead of implying to people that they need to change in order to be welcome at the table, let them know they’re welcome just as they are.”

⁣⁣I walked upstairs to wake the kids and saw this….tell me I’m not the only one that sees angel wings?! I took this picture, sat down to post it in my stories and turned around and poof it was gone. The last little bit of anxiousness I was feeling floated away with the wings…⁣until later in the day we covered climate change during science which I’m pretty sure freaked out and traumatized Laila. 🥴😰 I guess we can add this to the list of traumas to save up for future therapy.

41.

2020.

The year I celebrated with a cupcake for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the entire weekend leading up to 41 and not one ounce of regret, effs or guilt about it. Worth it.

The year started out with so much hope and guess what…. it’s also ending with so much hope, even on the days I have to dig a little deeper to find it. 2020 is not a year I would have chosen, but it’s a year of many lessons in gratitude, grace, turning off and turning away from what doesn’t serve my emotional or mental well-being and leaning into what does but had been too hard to lean into alone. It has been the most intentional and transformational growth I’ve ever experienced as a human to date and I can’t be mad at that.

So thank you 40 & 2020 for showing me how to remain steady in the storm. Even or especially when the steadiness came from leaning on those around me.

What age are you supposed to FEEL like an actual real life adult? Because so far, 41 still feels just as unadultish as all the previous years.

Chasing gratitude.

Filing this under daily gratitudes and blessings. I almost didn’t post this picture because let’s be honest, I am not a pretty sleeper. But ohhh for this moment, I had prayed. As a desperate non believer, I prayed so hard for this child after years of heart ache, infertility and lots of loss. I never prayed so hard. ⁣


And here we are. ⁣

Constantly blessed (and sometimes stressed 🤣) by her colorful presence and presents in this world. She is an actual rainbow after the storm. And sometimes she IS also the storm. & I love that about her even on the days it makes it hard to parent her. ⁣

So grateful that Eric felt the love and gratitude for both his girls in this moment, to capture it. Then send it to your mom with the text, “look at your girls”. 😭 ⁣

A few years ago, I decided to chase gratitude. Even…or especially on the hard days. I’m still chasing it, except today I find more of it. Not because I’m more blessed (although I do feel more blessed), but because I have been intentional in playing hide and seek with it. ⁣

Don’t miss or overlook it because it’s hiding in the ordinary spaces. Seek it out. Say “found ya” out loud when you find it. Play this game all damn day, every day. Until it becomes part of your normal daily routine, even on the hard days and even when there’s a hint of sarcasm behind it (sarcasm may be my coping mechanism which I just read wasn’t healthy, but baby steps 😬). There were some days all I could be thankful for was a cup of coffee or just making it through the day. But I’ve come a long way since then and if I can, I believe anyone can. ⁣

(7/15/2020)

What is something you’re grateful for in this moment??

Lean in…to your gifts.

Working realllll hard to teach and show my kids that worth will never come from a grade or ANY external factor…while constantly reminding myself of that very thing. I wish I would have learned this lesson so much sooner in life. 

Academics may not come easy to him, but kindness, empathy & creativity do. And he has such a gift for recognizing a friend in need. I’ll take that all day, every day over a letter grade. 

Shine bright in your gifts, friends. Focus on all that you are instead of all that you’re not and see what happens. Another lesson I wish I would have learned sooner. But damn is it ever being shown to me now. Loud and clear. Better late than never, right? 

If you don’t know what your gifts are yet (I didn’t know mine until recently), what have you been told by friends or loved ones is a gift you possess? Maybe even be brave enough ask those around you. I promise you have a gift only you can give, in a way only you can. Sometimes it’s a matter of recognizing it and not ignoring or running from it. if you’re the praying type, talk to God…ask him to show you. Here’s a prayer I’ve been praying, “Lord, here I am with open hands and open heart. ready to step into who you have created me to be. To use the gifts and talents you have blessed me with in a way that shows people who you are, how you love and the life you want for them. And imma maybe need you to make it realllll clear for a sister because there’s still a little bit of fear that’s sometimes clouding your whispers. So maybe holla at a girl!” 🤣 annnnnd boy is he hollering lately. And sending the people to also holla at a girl. Even if you’re not the praying type (trust me, I get it. I was not for more than half my life), you can still talk to God. He will be happy to hear from you. If you don’t know how to pray or what to say (I also feel you on that, I’m still learning), feel free to borrow my very scholarly written prayer. 

So let’s hear it…do you know your gifts? I’d love to hear what they are. Or are you about to go figure em out?? 

Ps: thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 😆

Guess who’s back. Back again.

MayHam’s back . Tell a friend.

just in case you forgot what I looked like. This is the face of 2020 MayHam. New & improved.

Well I’m doing the damn (blog) thing….again. Hopefully I can figure it out and keep at it this time around. Until then, I may be spamming you rapid fire style with some of my recent social medial posts that I would like to also live here on my little empty corner of the blog world.

Thanks for being here with me.

wishing you all the love, rainbows and coffee.

xoxo,

-m

looking for wholeheartedness

IMG_6717The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto. This. So. Much. This.

This book (Daring Greatly) totally rocked my world. I’m not gonna lie, it took me a long time to finally be ready to read and comprehend the words on these pages. I have struggled so much throughout my life with feelings of worthiness and self love and self acceptance and where I belong. And this manifesto right here is WHY I am working so hard on changing my behaviors and self talk.

In her book, Brené Brown says “we can’t give our children what we don’t have.” So without making some serious and intentional changes, I cannot lead by example. I cannot show them how to live in a place of self love and worthiness and belonging unless I am living that life as well. I won’t discount the progress I have already made because I do feel I am a better person today than I was a week ago, a month a ago, a year ago. But I also know that I can do better. Much better. For myself. For my children. Because. This. This is what I want for myself and my kids.

Stay tuned while I continue the search for wholeheartedness…

 

xoxo,

m