Jumping head first…

When’s the last time you did something scary or outside of your comfort zone? 

I feel like I’ve decided to jump head first into as many scary things as I can in the last couple weeks and it shows. Lol. The anxiousness, wtfs and me waking up at 4 am to think about all the things (picture the beautiful mind gif with all the floating equations, that’s me. At 4 am.) are starting to creep in and making me ask wtf am I doing?! 

I have been doing so good, so I’m not sure why all of a sudden I’m feeling hit with all the nerves. Or maybe I do know why. Because I doing some of the scariest stuff I’ve ever done. Like doing to most raw and vulnerable interview I’ve ever done in my life. Doing huge things in my current business, about to officially start our first year of homeschooling while also praying for a way for to do something big to expand a future business I know I was created for. 

But I also think that’s the thing with anxiety. It’s a constant tug o war. You’re never really done doing the work. Sometimes you get better and faster at coping, but that doesn’t mean you never have to face it again. 

When I start feeling this way, now I know what I need to do: 


1. Pray. I need to remind myself where my truth comes from. And it’s fo sho not the fear in my head. I just listened to a mediation on fear and it said fear is created in the ego and e.g.o. = Edging God out. I raised a hallelujah to that. It’s so true. Blasting some Jesus jams also really helps get my head and heart right. 

2. Oil up. Literally bathe in all the emotions oils. The emotional oils rock my world and may have made me more of a believer than any other oil because of the level of healing in my soul I believe they prepare and open my heart for. My fave oils for this are: Frankincense, White Angelica, Valor, Stress Away, Harmony, Grounding, Gathering. 

3. Hit the mat for some yoga and me time. Clear the mind. Ground myself. Focus on what’s in front of me or the pose I’m trying to not break my face doing. 

4. Sit in some gratitude. Look for it and call it out everywhere. No matter how big or small. I have a gratitude album on my phone. Any picture that makes me smile and brings joy to my heart gets moved over to this album. I open it up and get ta scrolling when I need to check my mind right. 

5. Pray again, oil up again and dance. Because in my opinion you can never do too much of either and you can’t dance and be in a shit mindset at the same time. Try it. Not possible. 

What are some things you do to ease your anxiousness? Or oils you use to help calm your mind and heart??

10 second hugs…

You’re NEVER too old, too big, too cool for a 10 second bear hug with yo mama. ⁣



My friend, posted about 8 second hugs with her kids a while back and how it takes 8 seconds of being heart to heart for the body to release the hormone oxytocin which stimulates feelings of love, bonding, well being and healing. ⁣

I told Laila about this last year and she was immediately down for one million 8 second hugs a day. She then turned them into verrrrrry slow count 10 second hugs. So she’s basically hugging me almost every waking second which I ain’t mad about. ⁣

But this guy, it’s not every day I get one from him. I always ask him if I can give him one and most days I get a quick half side hug. Which I will gladly take even though I really just wanna grab him and squeeze him and never let him go. But I am BIG on teaching them they get to decide what kind of physical touch is OK, ALWAYS. So I honor the days all he wants is a side hug…or no hug. ⁣

And on the days he wants one, I may pull him down and cradle him like a little baby and count as slow as humanly possible hopefully without ruining any chance for future 10 second hugs. 🤣I thought today’s hug may have pushed those limits, but ever since this mornings 10 second + hug he’s been giving me random hugs all day….even got a couple of cheek kisses…I guess that oxytocin got him. ⁣

Mamas with babies that still willingly wanna hug you, cherish those moments. I gotta also remind myself of this on the days I just want a moment of not being touched by my little stage 5 clinger. 

Now go get you some 8-10 second hugs and tell me how you feel after!!

What’s wrong with a little fitness and a whole lotta Jesus???

Someone recently responded to one of my stories and asked if my Instagram page is turning into a fitness & Jesus page. 

I don’t know them very well and I don’t know what they meant their tone to be. And even without the eye roll emoji, 🤣 we take words from a place of where we are in that moment. I deep sighed. I do sometimes worry I will annoy people with my posts/stories. It has at times even kept me from posting more than I have. But then I remember that I’m not posting for the eye rollers. 
I get this message and for a very split second I let it validate my fear and invalidate alllllll the other messages of encouragement, support and appreciation for showing & sharing my journey. Then I took a deep breath and formed my response that went like, 
“Hey. Thanks for reaching out. I don’t have any current plans to, but living the healthiest and best life I can is one of my main focuses so that’s what I’m showing. If that hits an uncomfortable spot and I am no longer for you because of that, I totally understand. Hope you have a great day. Thanks for your message.” 

Because I do understand. There was once a time, I had a hard time watching others do what I wanted to do, but (physically or emotionally) couldn’t. Or watching others do what I didn’t believe I was capable or deserving of doing. Lots of eye rolling went down. So I get it. And I’m not mad if you need to look away right now (or ever) for your own well-being. 
It’s always ok for you to unfollow or turn your gaze away from what’s not making you feel good. But also maybe think about asking yourself, what about it or why is it making me feel a certain way? And can/should I dig deeper to work through it even when it feels uncomfortable. Or maybe you’re not ready to ask yourself those questions and you just gotta keep repeating certain cycles until you’re ready to no longer repeat them, like I did. It’s hard, ugly and uncomfortable work so I don’t judge anyone from sitting in a place I sat for so long. 

Friends, I don’t know what this page will be. it’s my small corner of social media and it’s my story and it’s still being written, so only time will tell. But if what I am doing/showing right now makes anyone feel any kind of way, it is 💯 ok for you to turn your gaze and not follow along. 

If my faith & workout journey and progress makes you feel uncomfortable, I have a feeling once I really open up about my growth and how I plan to let it guide me….you gonna be reallllllll uncomfortable here in my part of the inter webs. So now may be a good time to make an exit anyway. 🤣
I have learned some hard life lessons in my 40 years of existence and this girl can no longer play small to keep others comfortable. Nope. Cannot do it. And that may not be for you. Now or ever. And that’s ok with me. Whether it’s ok for anyone else how I live and share my life, is not my business so I won’t make it mine. 🤷🏽‍♀️
That’s a message I hope everyone learns way sooner than I did. There’s so much freedom in knowing what others think of you has NOTHING to do with you (unless you’re just an awful human, which I don’t believe anyone wants to be that) and everything to do with where they currently are in life. 

100 days stronger


Over the last 100 days, I’ve ended up with some baby biceps, a 2 pack (that’s still kinda hiding but I know it’s there), less jiggly in my jiggly spots and that’s not even the best part….The gains felt on the inside are the biggest win. The mental, emotional and self love and acceptance muscles are straight flexin hard, yo. ⁣

It’s crazy. On the day I completed the #100dayproject AND my century (100th) yoga class, a memory popped up from this day last year. We were on vacation and I posted how I was desperately trying to choose gratitude and grace through the pain and frustration of my body constantly giving out on me. I remembering later breaking down because I was felt like I was failing in life and failing my family because I physically couldn’t be the wife and mom they needed. I lost who I was and didn’t think I would ever get to be who I knew I was created to be. ⁣

Buuuuut she back. With a little more sass, a whole lotta passion for living life and a strong desire to make some sh!t happen while working on nailing a graceful headstand without tipping over. Watch out. It’s all happening. I feel it in my no longer constant achy bones. ⁣

I also nailed a non graceful headstand that Laila recoded. Ps- she’s fired as my camera girl.😂 you had one job, Laila. One job. ⁣

Ready to go for another 100 days! Who wants to join me?!! ⁣

7/7/2020

Chasing gratitude.

Filing this under daily gratitudes and blessings. I almost didn’t post this picture because let’s be honest, I am not a pretty sleeper. But ohhh for this moment, I had prayed. As a desperate non believer, I prayed so hard for this child after years of heart ache, infertility and lots of loss. I never prayed so hard. ⁣


And here we are. ⁣

Constantly blessed (and sometimes stressed 🤣) by her colorful presence and presents in this world. She is an actual rainbow after the storm. And sometimes she IS also the storm. & I love that about her even on the days it makes it hard to parent her. ⁣

So grateful that Eric felt the love and gratitude for both his girls in this moment, to capture it. Then send it to your mom with the text, “look at your girls”. 😭 ⁣

A few years ago, I decided to chase gratitude. Even…or especially on the hard days. I’m still chasing it, except today I find more of it. Not because I’m more blessed (although I do feel more blessed), but because I have been intentional in playing hide and seek with it. ⁣

Don’t miss or overlook it because it’s hiding in the ordinary spaces. Seek it out. Say “found ya” out loud when you find it. Play this game all damn day, every day. Until it becomes part of your normal daily routine, even on the hard days and even when there’s a hint of sarcasm behind it (sarcasm may be my coping mechanism which I just read wasn’t healthy, but baby steps 😬). There were some days all I could be thankful for was a cup of coffee or just making it through the day. But I’ve come a long way since then and if I can, I believe anyone can. ⁣

(7/15/2020)

What is something you’re grateful for in this moment??