Someone recently responded to one of my stories and asked if my Instagram page is turning into a fitness & Jesus page.
I don’t know them very well and I don’t know what they meant their tone to be. And even without the eye roll emoji, 🤣 we take words from a place of where we are in that moment. I deep sighed. I do sometimes worry I will annoy people with my posts/stories. It has at times even kept me from posting more than I have. But then I remember that I’m not posting for the eye rollers.
I get this message and for a very split second I let it validate my fear and invalidate alllllll the other messages of encouragement, support and appreciation for showing & sharing my journey. Then I took a deep breath and formed my response that went like,
“Hey. Thanks for reaching out. I don’t have any current plans to, but living the healthiest and best life I can is one of my main focuses so that’s what I’m showing. If that hits an uncomfortable spot and I am no longer for you because of that, I totally understand. Hope you have a great day. Thanks for your message.”
Because I do understand. There was once a time, I had a hard time watching others do what I wanted to do, but (physically or emotionally) couldn’t. Or watching others do what I didn’t believe I was capable or deserving of doing. Lots of eye rolling went down. So I get it. And I’m not mad if you need to look away right now (or ever) for your own well-being.
It’s always ok for you to unfollow or turn your gaze away from what’s not making you feel good. But also maybe think about asking yourself, what about it or why is it making me feel a certain way? And can/should I dig deeper to work through it even when it feels uncomfortable. Or maybe you’re not ready to ask yourself those questions and you just gotta keep repeating certain cycles until you’re ready to no longer repeat them, like I did. It’s hard, ugly and uncomfortable work so I don’t judge anyone from sitting in a place I sat for so long.
Friends, I don’t know what this page will be. it’s my small corner of social media and it’s my story and it’s still being written, so only time will tell. But if what I am doing/showing right now makes anyone feel any kind of way, it is 💯 ok for you to turn your gaze and not follow along.
If my faith & workout journey and progress makes you feel uncomfortable, I have a feeling once I really open up about my growth and how I plan to let it guide me….you gonna be reallllllll uncomfortable here in my part of the inter webs. So now may be a good time to make an exit anyway. 🤣
I have learned some hard life lessons in my 40 years of existence and this girl can no longer play small to keep others comfortable. Nope. Cannot do it. And that may not be for you. Now or ever. And that’s ok with me. Whether it’s ok for anyone else how I live and share my life, is not my business so I won’t make it mine. 🤷🏽♀️
That’s a message I hope everyone learns way sooner than I did. There’s so much freedom in knowing what others think of you has NOTHING to do with you (unless you’re just an awful human, which I don’t believe anyone wants to be that) and everything to do with where they currently are in life.