coffee mugs & tears

What a perfect day to bust out one of my most treasured coffee mugs that usually IMG_0965.JPGcarefully sits in a safe place in my mug cabinet. I remember climbing up on my tata’s lap as a little girl to sit with him as he sipped his coffee from this mug every morning. And as time passed, I remember watching Andrew climb up on his lap and do the same as a little boy. I am so thankful that both my nana and tata got to meet at least one of my babies. I wish they were here to be part of Ash and Laila’s lives, I know they would just get the biggest kick outta these 2 crazies. I wish I had more time with them, it wasn’t enough. But I feel so lucky to have so many amazing memories of all the time we did have together.

I remember every morning as I rushed out the door to get to class or work…my tata was sitting there in his chair, sipping his coffee. I would give him and Andrew a kiss on the head, tell them I loved them and run out. One morning I ran out of the house, he wasn’t in his chair yet. He was getting ready for his much anticipated hunting trip with my uncles. I didn’t wait. I just ran out. Without saying goodbye. Without telling him I loved him. Without kissing him on the head. Without seeing him in his chair, sipping his coffee. That morning I didn’t know that I would never have the chance to do any of those things ever again. Grief is so weird. It just sneaks up on you and sometimes and just slaps you in the face. This morning I reached up for this cup because I thought it was so appropriate being we leave for Hawaii in a few days. But as I cupped this mug in my hands and brought it to my face…the smell of coffee hitting my nose instantly took me back to being that little girl sitting on his lap smelling his coffee and snuggling up in his arms and made me miss him and my nana something fierce.

Don’t ever be too busy to tell someone you love and appreciate them. Slow down. Take the time. Say the words. Appreciate the moments.

 

xoxo,

-m

cuteness + compassion

The face and the heart of a kid that will change the world one smile, one wave, one thumbs up, one dab and one act of kindness at a time. Maybe I’m blinded by mom googles, but I’m convinced his loving and compassionate soul is much older and wiser than that of a typical 7 year old….on most days. I’m not *that* blinded.

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And speaking of acts of kindness, Ash is still collecting baby items for his birthday charity drive. This year he is collecting items for the Hushabye Nursery which is working hard to open a recovery center for infants experiencing Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome. Did you know that every 25 minutes a baby is born addicted? That’s a lot of babies needing specialized care and patient hearts. His goal is to make sure the center has enough baby blankets, clothes, swings/bouncers and diapers when they open their doors and take their first tiny little patient. If you are interested in donating any new or gently used baby items, let us know and we can add you to the fb event page or send you the amazon Hushabye nursery wish list.

 

xoxo,

m

21.

21 days. That’s how many days I have officially been wheat and sugar free. Sugar. Out of MY diet. Me… not consuming chocolate all day, everyday?! Crazy. Right?!

And today I’m making bone broth. Who in the actual hell am I?!

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Well I can tell you who and what I finally am not. I am not absolutely and completely exhausted. I can get out of the bed in the morning and not struggle to just make it through the day. I don’t feel as sluggish and forgetful and totally crazy. And I don’t feel like I’m dying a slow death. Kinda dramatic? Maybe. But that’s really how I felt. There were so many days my husband would say to me “I’m worried about you. Are you ok? How are you even functioning right now. I think you need to see a doctor. This isn’t normal.” Because the physical and mental exhaustion was so bad. All things I chalked up to #mombrain or #momstruggles. I would oil up, take supplements all day and take my Ningxia red 3-4 times a day just to get me through the day. Which really helped but I realized how much better these oils and supplements would work if I was actually a normal functioning body vs an actual real life walking zombie.

I started researching. About the importance of diet and gut health, eliminating wheat/ grains and sugar. So I did it. I found a way of eating that I thought would work for me and I went for it. Out of desperation. And 21 days later, I am amazed by how much better I feel. I know my body is still working to repair all the damage, but getting out of bed and making it through the day is no longer such a struggle and that right there is a huge win that I will gladly take. I’m stumbling upon a new desire and passion to learn all the things. For myself and for my family. Because I can never go back to feeling the way I did 22 days ago. It’s just not an option. And do you know what’s really awful is that I didn’t share this with many people prior to starting because I wasn’t sure I would be able actually do this. I expected to fail. Like I usually do when it comes to quitting sugar. I am a very goal driven person. When I put my mind to something, I don’t stop till I make it happen. But sugar. Ugh. Quitting sugar. It felt impossible and I felt bad labeling it an addiction when other people are battling real addictions, but by definition that’s exactly what this is/was and I feel like bringing light to it, it allows me to acknowledge and take action.

So here I am. Taking action.

to be continued…

xoxo,

-m